In conversation with Autowaala

Out of the 1000 things to do before you die as per my list, having a striking conversation with the autowaalas of Bangalore gets a higher rank than most of the others. The Autowaalas of Bangalore consider themselves no less than Rajnikant's or Quick Gun Murugan's descendent according to my keen observation about their various habits and dialogue deliveries that they possess...

I sometimes wonder how many times will I pick the wrong autowaala no matter where I go... Trust me, there are countless specimens existing here. I want to discuss about few ones here...

I call them Extras. These autowaalas have an habit of asking for extra money even before you board their auto... This happens mostly when the distance that you have to cover is more than 3-4 kms. They will refuse to go if you dont pay them extra.
A typical conversation would sound something like this :

Autowaala, "Sir, Rs. 20/- extra"
I ask, "Why boss?"
Autowaala, "Sir, return khaali aana padta hai sir!!!!"
I say, "Is that my fault? Do I have to pay for others?"
Autowaala (using his convincing powers)," Sir, what is Rs 20/- for you Sir? You are working in such big big companies sir. You can easily pay sir"
I speak (after a pause and slight disgust),"So this gives you a right to cheat people?"
Autowaala, "Accha Sir, only Rs 10/- extra." He will have a big grin on his face now thinking that he has almost won the battle against me.
I finally speak (nodding in agreement), "Chal Bhai, ab tu chal buss. Aur kuch mut bol"

Another category is whom I call Geographically Deficient. These autowaalas have all the time in the world to listen to you. They would not be found waiting together but they would surely keep coming to you at regular intervals and from different directions. What is irritating is they would finally keep the ball in their court and go away. I'll tell you how..

Myself (standing at Richmond Circle), "Bhaiya, Koramangala 8th Block jaoge? "
Autowaala (scratching his head and groin), "Yeh kahan hai?"
I dont look what he does and answer him point blank on his face ,"Shiva Talkies ke paas"
Autowaala, "Which route to go?"
I say, "Yahan se straight on double road, wahan se left towards wilson garden, then right towards adugodi road and then straight inside"
Autowaala (after a thought), " Nahi Sir, wahan nahi jayenge"
My fingers fold by themselves forming a tight fist to bang him on his face but I resist. I see him smiling and making a fun of me.

Yesterday I added a new variety in the lot whom I called Random Number Generators. These autowaalas dont have any idea about the time. The auto fares and time have no co- relation whatsoever. Be it 5 in the evening or 3 in the afternoon, they seem to randomly think of some figure and quote it to you randomly.
Latest random statement that you might hear soon is when you take an auto at 8:45 pm and autowaala would say Meter ka one and half lagega, sir.
This obviously demands an explaination. I ask him.
He says, " Pahuchte Pahuchte 10 baje jayenge sir"

I just laugh at this because the distance that I have to cover is exactly 5 kms (calculated on bike). I dont want to argue but perhaps his statement was one of the major reasons for me to write this blog.

Main aur autowaala aksar yeh baatein karte hain

Agar tum ek baar main maan jaate to kaisa hota

Agar tum seedha seedha chalte to aisa hota

Agar tumhe kuch pata hota to aage baat hoti

Main aur autowaala aksar yeh baatein karte hain