I recently finished reading Khushwant Singh's THE FREETHINKER PRAYER BOOK and found some interesting quotes from different religious teachings and thinkers.
"If a man say, I love God and hateth his brother, he is a liar
For he that loveth not his brother, whom he hath seen, cannot love God whom he hath not seen"
- The Bible
"Only the small of heart think: 'These are my people and those strangers'. For the magnanimous sage, All World is Family"
- Maha Upanishad (Vasudhaivkutumbukam)
"What use is bending or bowing of head,
When you bow, not the heart?"
- The Guru Granth Sahib
"By self along is evil done,
By self is one digraced,
By self is evil left undone,
By self alone is one purified,
Purity and impurity belong to self, no one can purify another"
- The Dhammapada
"Your actions are defined by intention,
Every man shall deserve only that which he intended"
- Prophet Mohammed
"Whether one believes in religion or not, and whether one believes in rebirth or not,
There isn't anyone who doesn't appreciate kindness and compassion"
- The Dalai Lama
"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgement you pronounce you will be judged
And with the measure you use it, will be measured to you"
- Jesus
"Once I set out to find the crooked of heart and returned disappointed,
Then I looked into my heart; I found the king of crooks hiding there"
- Kabir
"Learn to see the divine in every human being,
Give food to the hungry, water to the thirsty and clothes to the naked,
This is how you feel God"
- Shirdi Sai Baba
"He who knows others is learned,
He who knows himself is wise"
- Lao Tsu
"He that gives should never remember,
He that receives should never forget"
- The Talmud
"Always tell the truth, then you don't have to remember anything"
- Mark Twain
"Do not do to others as you would not wish done to your self"
- Confucius
"Beauty is eternity gazing itself in a mirror,
But you are eternity and you are the mirror"
- Khalil Gibran
"The passing moment is all that we can be sure of,
It is only common sense to extract its utmost value from it"
- W. Somerset Maugham
"When your heart is clean and right,
The Ganga's in your bath tub"
- Ravi Dass
"We have been looking for the burning bush, the parting of sea, the bellowing voice from heaven,
Instead we should be looking at day-by-day events in our lives for evidence of the miraculous"
- M. Scott Peck
"Hands that help are far better than the lips that pray"
- Robert G. Ingersoll
"Wealth without work,
Pleasure without conscience,
Science without humanity,
Knowledge without character,
Commerce without morality,
Worship without sacrifice,
Politics without principle"
- Seven Deadly Sins by M.K. Gandhi
Monday, May 27, 2013
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Himmatwala Special
- Breaking News:
US attacks North Korea by dropping Himmatwala Dvd's.
... - In India, 1st April to be renamed as 'Himmatwala Day'.
- Sanjay Dutt decided to go Jail than watching Himmatwala.
- Lashkar-E-Tayba owns responsibility of Himmatwala.
- Sajid Khan to receive National Award for 'WTF Film' category.
- Rajanikant went to Coma after watching Himmatwala.
- Best scene in Himmatwala:
"The Interval".
- Income Tax department to raid audience who watched Himmatwala.
- Sonia Gandhi decides to go back to Italy after watching Himmatwala.
- Kajol claimed Divorce after watching Himmatwala
- Ques.: If Sajid Khan; Farah Khan & Sirish Kunder fall off a tall building, who will survive....??
Ans.: INDIAN CINEMA =D :p ;) X_X
- BREAKING NEWS !!
Rahul Gandhi to visit the victims of Himmatwala soon.
- Apocalypse is when you accidentally go to watch Himmatwala and the 'Jumping Japang' ad is played during the interval !
- Reportedly Rajnikanth went to Coma and Sir Ravindra Jadeja lost his memory after watching Himmatwala.
- Virat Kohli has blocked Tamannah after watching Himmatwala!!
- North Korea is entering in a state of war against South Korea. I suggest them to drop DVD's of Drona, Tees Maar Khan, Joker and Himmatwala on each other. Instant Death!
- Not the actor, but each person coming out of the hall after watching the movie, should be called 'Himmatwala'!
- Farah Khan challenged Sajid Khan to make something worse than the IPL ads. Sajid Khan made Himmatwala.
- Just came across a song from Himmatwala "maar de bum pe laat". So what are we all waiting for? Let's head towards Sajid Khan's house.
- After I saw Himaatwala, i felt like doing Ajay Devgan's 'Apharan' and then pour some 'Gangajaal' on him and finally hand him over to 'Singham'
- If Ajay Devgan continues to act in movies like Himmatwala, days are not far when his neighbors' kids will confuse him with 'Rikshawala'.
- Two minutes of silence for those who have advanced booked Himmatwala tickets.
- Sad Story :
Hum 4 friend Himmatwala dekhne gaye the aaj par wapas 3 hi aaye :(
.
.
Ek Friend Coma me chala gaya movie dekhte dekhte :'(
- The tiger who acted in Sajid Khan's Himmatwala ...is now considering leaving Bollywood and going back to the Zoo..
His career is Ruined....!!
US attacks North Korea by dropping Himmatwala Dvd's.
... - In India, 1st April to be renamed as 'Himmatwala Day'.
- Sanjay Dutt decided to go Jail than watching Himmatwala.
- Lashkar-E-Tayba owns responsibility of Himmatwala.
- Sajid Khan to receive National Award for 'WTF Film' category.
- Rajanikant went to Coma after watching Himmatwala.
- Best scene in Himmatwala:
"The Interval".
- Income Tax department to raid audience who watched Himmatwala.
- Sonia Gandhi decides to go back to Italy after watching Himmatwala.
- Kajol claimed Divorce after watching Himmatwala
- Ques.: If Sajid Khan; Farah Khan & Sirish Kunder fall off a tall building, who will survive....??
Ans.: INDIAN CINEMA =D :p ;) X_X
- BREAKING NEWS !!
Rahul Gandhi to visit the victims of Himmatwala soon.
- Apocalypse is when you accidentally go to watch Himmatwala and the 'Jumping Japang' ad is played during the interval !
- Reportedly Rajnikanth went to Coma and Sir Ravindra Jadeja lost his memory after watching Himmatwala.
- Virat Kohli has blocked Tamannah after watching Himmatwala!!
- North Korea is entering in a state of war against South Korea. I suggest them to drop DVD's of Drona, Tees Maar Khan, Joker and Himmatwala on each other. Instant Death!
- Not the actor, but each person coming out of the hall after watching the movie, should be called 'Himmatwala'!
- Farah Khan challenged Sajid Khan to make something worse than the IPL ads. Sajid Khan made Himmatwala.
- Just came across a song from Himmatwala "maar de bum pe laat". So what are we all waiting for? Let's head towards Sajid Khan's house.
- After I saw Himaatwala, i felt like doing Ajay Devgan's 'Apharan' and then pour some 'Gangajaal' on him and finally hand him over to 'Singham'
- If Ajay Devgan continues to act in movies like Himmatwala, days are not far when his neighbors' kids will confuse him with 'Rikshawala'.
- Two minutes of silence for those who have advanced booked Himmatwala tickets.
- Sad Story :
Hum 4 friend Himmatwala dekhne gaye the aaj par wapas 3 hi aaye :(
.
.
Ek Friend Coma me chala gaya movie dekhte dekhte :'(
- The tiger who acted in Sajid Khan's Himmatwala ...is now considering leaving Bollywood and going back to the Zoo..
His career is Ruined....!!
Friday, March 29, 2013
Concepts of ISMs
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy
grows.
You sell them and retire on the income
ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
the cow has dropped dead.
A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three
cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
market it worldwide.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive...
Courtesy: Facebook Wall Post from friends
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy
grows.
You sell them and retire on the income
ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
the cow has dropped dead.
A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three
cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
market it worldwide.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive...
Courtesy: Facebook Wall Post from friends
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Udhaar ki baatein
हमारा भारत उधार के भरोसे चल रहा है। ग्राहक को अपने पास खीचने का यह सबसे सफल उपाय माना जाता है। परंतु ग्राहक को अपना माल बेचने के बाद रिटेल धंधे में जो अक्सर शब्द सुनने में आते हें, वो यह हें :
1. लिख लेना
2. बाद में लेना
3. आकर देता हूँ
4. दे दूंगा
5. आकर ले जाना
6. कल दे दूंगा
7. सुबह देता हूँ
8. शाम को देता हूँ
9. भरोसा नहीं है क्या?
10. पहचानते नहीं हो क्या?
11. भाग जाऊंगा क्या?
12. टेलीफोन करने पर - साहब नहीं हैं, मीटिंग में बिजी हैं
13. मीटिंग में व्यस्त हैं - थोड़ी देर में करना
आखिर ऐसा क्यों?
जागो ग्राहक जागो !!!!
Friday, January 11, 2013
Bhagwaan kahan se ho?
कपडे हो गए छोटे, शर्म कहाँ से हो ।
अनाज हो गया रासायनिक, स्वाद कहाँ से हो ।
भोजन हो गया डालडा का , ताकत कहाँ से हो ।
नेता हुआ कुर्सी का, देश्मुखी कहाँ से हो ।
फूल हुए प्लास्टिक के, खुशबु कहाँ से हो ।
चेहरा हुआ मेकअप का, रूप कहाँ से हो ।
शिक्षक हुए टयूशन के, विद्या कहाँ से हो ।
प्रोग्राम हुए चैनल के , संस्कार कहाँ से हो ।
इंसान हुआ पैसों का , दया कहाँ से हो ।
पानी हुआ केमिकल का, गंगाजल कहाँ से हो ।
संत हुए स्वार्थ के, सत्संग कहाँ से हो ।
भक्त हुए स्वार्थ के, भगवान कहाँ से हो ।
अनाज हो गया रासायनिक, स्वाद कहाँ से हो ।
भोजन हो गया डालडा का , ताकत कहाँ से हो ।
नेता हुआ कुर्सी का, देश्मुखी कहाँ से हो ।
फूल हुए प्लास्टिक के, खुशबु कहाँ से हो ।
चेहरा हुआ मेकअप का, रूप कहाँ से हो ।
शिक्षक हुए टयूशन के, विद्या कहाँ से हो ।
प्रोग्राम हुए चैनल के , संस्कार कहाँ से हो ।
इंसान हुआ पैसों का , दया कहाँ से हो ।
पानी हुआ केमिकल का, गंगाजल कहाँ से हो ।
संत हुए स्वार्थ के, सत्संग कहाँ से हो ।
भक्त हुए स्वार्थ के, भगवान कहाँ से हो ।
Monday, November 19, 2012
Sidhuisms in Hindi
Sidhuisms on 1st Test, Ind Vs Eng, 15th Nov, 2012
STAR CRICKET has started giving commentary in Hindi starring Navjot Singh Sidhu. SHIT!!!!
STAR CRICKET has started giving commentary in Hindi starring Navjot Singh Sidhu. SHIT!!!!
- परबत की हरियाली देख कर यह पता नहीं लगाया जा सकता है की उसके अन्दर कितनी ज्वाला भरी हुई है!! - On Sehwag's Batting
- फायदे की ईमारत हमेशा नुक्सान की धुप में ही बनती है! - On Gambhir's form
- जैसे जल मिटटी को कीचड बनाये बिना नहीं रुक सकता, वैसे ही स्वान भारतीय बल्लेबाजों के रास्ते में भूकंप ला सकता है!!! - On Graeme Swann's Spin Attack
- जो काम सुई कर सकती है, वो तलवार नहीं कर सकती!! - On Pujara's batting and bringing stability in batting line up
- वशीभूत और मंत्रमुग्ध कर देने वाला स्ट्रोक!! - On Yuvraj's straight drive for a boundary
- अनहोनी को होनी कर दे, होनी को अनहोनी; एक जगह जब जमा हो तीनों - यादव, प्रज्ञान और धोनी - On India's bowling attack in 2nd innings
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Udd ja hans akela
Heard this bhajan on the internet - the lyrics hold a deep meaning in my life:
Ek dall do panchhi re baitha kaun guru kaun chela
Guru ki karni guru bharega chela ki karni chela re sadhu bhai
Udd ja hans akela
Maati chun chun mahal banaya
Log kahe ghar mera
Na ghar tera na ghar mera chidiya rain basera re sadhu bhai
Udd ja hans akela
Kaudi kaudi maya jodi jod bharela thaila
Kahat kabeer suno bhai sadhu
Sang chale na dhela re sadhu bhai
Udd ja hans akela
Maat kahe ye putra hamara bahan kahe ye mera
Bhai kahe ye bhuja hamari naari kahe ye nar mera re sadhu bhai
Udd ja hans akela
Pet pakad ke maata roye bah pakad ke bhai
Lapat jhapat ke chidiya roye
Hans akela jai re sadhu bhai
Udd ja hans akela
Jab tak jiye mata roye bahan roye dasmasa
Barah din tak tiriya roye
Bhed kare ghar vasa re sadhu bhai
Udd ja hans akela
Ek dall do panchhi re baitha kaun guru kaun chela
Guru ki karni guru bharega chela ki karni chela re sadhu bhai
Udd ja hans akela
Maati chun chun mahal banaya
Log kahe ghar mera
Na ghar tera na ghar mera chidiya rain basera re sadhu bhai
Udd ja hans akela
Kaudi kaudi maya jodi jod bharela thaila
Kahat kabeer suno bhai sadhu
Sang chale na dhela re sadhu bhai
Udd ja hans akela
Maat kahe ye putra hamara bahan kahe ye mera
Bhai kahe ye bhuja hamari naari kahe ye nar mera re sadhu bhai
Udd ja hans akela
Pet pakad ke maata roye bah pakad ke bhai
Lapat jhapat ke chidiya roye
Hans akela jai re sadhu bhai
Udd ja hans akela
Jab tak jiye mata roye bahan roye dasmasa
Barah din tak tiriya roye
Bhed kare ghar vasa re sadhu bhai
Udd ja hans akela
Friday, September 28, 2012
Barfi - Background Check
ning committee due to its copied content. But what has happened to the Film Federation of India (FFI) who are so brain dead to pick up this film for Oscars. I guess they don't watch too much of Foreign Movies like me these days....
This incident has evoked a fresh interest in me for Foreign films and diluted it for my Hindi films as of now.... and i feel sorry for it but can't help it.
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